Blogging for a better life

Accepting reality isn’t always easy. There’s a lot of internal work that needs to take place. And even then, you’re not guaranteed acceptance. I speak in parallels. One of my life’s questions has always been, “How do you know when you’ve truly forgiven someone?” That question can be parallel to, “How do you know when you’ve reached acceptance?”

I thought I was getting to a point of acceptance with how cancer has changed my life. However; lately, I feel like I’ve regressed in that thought. One thing I’ve learned about myself through cancer, is I’ve been able to bring with me from my life before cancer to now is wearing a smile on my face, while utterly frustrated and angry with myself on the inside.

These days I’m finding myself getting more anxious about whether I’m doing too much or not enough and feeling overwhelmed again about working towards putting every intricate detail of my life back together again. My medical team is always reminding me to not compare my life after cancer to life before cancer, because it will never look the same again. These days parallel in this is looking forward to a stronger future, getting frustrated in looking too far ahead and finding the balance to only look far enough ahead in keeping you motivated. At the same time, it’s hard not to compare the abilities of yesterday today. It’s hard not to get angry about not being able to finish a simple task without becoming exhausted. I have moments, days, weeks, etc… where it’s like, “C’mon already! It’s time to get on with the rest of life!” At the same time; when that one side of my brain can squeeze in a moment of positivity, I am reminded that I’m right where I’m supposed to be at this very moment in my life. You are where you’re supposed to be in this very moment of your life. There’s something to be said and to be grateful for the moments, days, weeks, months, years of struggle. It’s character building. It’s grit. There’s gratitude amongst it all. Not everyone can get through the same messy encounters yours or my life has invited our way. But; if we say, “Thank-you” and find the moments of substance and enjoyment in the midst of the struggle, maybe our mindset will be a different kind of strong!

(C) 2025 AeKyung Yoo