When insomnia kicks in, a new reality emerges. Suddenly beyond the tiredness and exhaustion, comes hopelessness, sadness, frustration, and anger. Emotions are raging high and fluctuates moment by moment. I can imagine to the outside world; post-chemo life looks like a breeze. But behind what is seen lingers the haziness and fog that has you living in a trance.
On good days when life is filled with hope, time seems to whisk on by. On the bad days, time stands still, and looking into the future feels so overwhelming. On the bad days, I say this is one horrific nightmare, and when I wake up strength, mobility, feeling like myself, and so much more will return. But when I come out of the dreaminess; chronic pain reminds me that yesterday was not just broken, but that yesterday was shattered beyond repair.
Post-chemo life is, is the life that no one prepares you for or has clean answers. Post-chemo life is messy. It’s zig zaggy, and the bad days seem so long and unbearable. Life is a parallel. Therefore; in the midst of the sadness, gratitude is nearby. But sometimes, you just want to cry and cry and cry.
Blogging for a better life 
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