Blogging for a better life

Whirlwind

Explosive

Torpedos

Tornados

Iridescent lights

Majestic Black

Unaware

Aware

I don’t care

Navigating through

Clumsily

Blindly

Nobody knows the extremes

This adventure takes

By any necessary means

It doesn’t discriminate

Black or White

Yellow or Purple

20s

40s

A love story for ages

Only because you’re chosen to reassess

Question

Re-brand

Identity

Beliefs

Morals

Values

Not everyone in this lifetime will ever do

I say I can’t do this life after cancer/chemo

But at the same time

I’m doing it

I have no choice

Putting myself out there

Completely vulnerable

Survival of the fittest

Desperately wanting to engage

Into the new persona of me

While still mourning yesterday’s death

Wondering if I can’t take a part of me

On this next journey that I’ve already embarked on

Some journeys we get to choose

And closely identify with

While other journeys embarked

We’re merely just the passenger

Positivity

Enjoying the ride

Theres no time for woe is me

It’s a fight

A fight to survive

Metamorphosize

Alive

Synthesize

Creating the new me

Stumbly

Graciously

Humbly

Filled with so much humbleness

Shyness

Embarrassment

Confusion

Anger

Cancer has scarred one for life

Trusting nothing

Because youth has failed you

Learning to crawl

Learning to walk

One day I’ll run

But until that time comes

What’s been done

Cannot be undone

Open to the universe

And each moment that comes

Embracing each moment like never before

Closed doors

Open doors

Non-judgmental

Clean slate

Tabula rasa

Not just words

But literally

What choice does one have

The good cells died

With yesterday’s me

Leaving me confused

On whom I am

Where I’m going

What’s my strengths

What’s my weaknesses

Shy

Timid

Most definitely self-conscious

But

Knowing that’s okay

Learning to become comfortable

With something I’ve never known before

Because this is growth

This is character building

This is me

Re-defining

Re-creating

My new life’s destiny

Apologies

But no apologies

Your brain just works differently

Some days are hazier than others

More days than a few days

You can literally be talking with someone

And your brain can’t think differently

It can only stay in that one grey lane

And that’s okay

I just ask for grace

In the most humbleness of ways

Apologies for outbursts

Because

Cancer hits differently for women vs men?

Hormones are raging

And out of control

No comparison as before

Completely different

Because each day is literally so different from the next

Leaving no one and everyone

Never knowing what to expect

Some days you want to just cry

And to be left alone

Thinking isolation

Keeps you away from the danger zone

Over a year of isolation

Re-learning how to communicate with the world

Fear is most definitely a factor

Moving forward in grace

Grace

Grace

That’s what continually rings in my right ear

It’s easier to hear

Rather than to just believe

Keep moving

Keep moving

During this test of time

Tomorrow is my destiny

Taking one day at a time

Whirlwind.

(C) 2024 AeKyung Yoo