When I received the “yes” about taking a break from all my various therapies, I was ecstatic! This break would give me the opportunity to live life as “normal” as possible, as if cancer never happened! This break would allow me the mental rest needed, away from anything medically related and in the back of my mind constantly focused or worried on time of healing, the what ifs, and what nots. It would allow me the time to breath within the breath. Another words: finally, some space! With that space, I really relieved myself from thinking. (If that is even a thing). I just let myself be. In description, like an out of body experience where one tells oneself to just run along and do, be, or say whatever. The out of body experience that one tells oneself to live life without restrictions. Remove whatever restrictions your mind places on you and listen to the rest of your body vs your mind alone. They have always said that a mind is a terrible thing to waste; however, staying too much in the mind can hinder other areas of your life.
I have concluded that I stress about things without knowing that I am even stressing, and that it plays a toll on the rest of me. I am busy trying to figure out if I am healing properly, according to the correct time. Am I doing things right in my healing journey, or am I doing things wrong? Am I doing too much? Am I not doing enough? Which in turn leads to a lot of unneeded worry and frustration. Factor in all of my medical appointments, and it just keeps the mind in that constant state! (That is a lesson within itself as a worrier. Worry brings stress, and stress brings on so much more)! As cancer warriors and life warriors, we cannot afford to stress. We cannot afford to stress over our next scan. We cannot afford to stress on tomorrow. What we can afford to do, is work on staying in the moment. I get it. Working corporate America; it is plan, plan, plan. It is contradictory. So really what it boils down to, is life’s journey in finding true balance in all areas of our lives. Balance brings harmony, and harmony brings peace.
It felt good to have a little break from the work that has been going into my recovery. However, during my mini break, I have learned that the pain is real. The frustrations are real; but the break was well needed. It allowed me the opportunity to renew my mindset and catch myself where I may have been falling in the wrong way of thinking. I am re-motivated and aligned to continue to move forward!
To every cancer warrior, the fight is worth fighting! Do not give up now! Within the fight comes hope, perseverance, self-learning, motivation, character, grit, and an abundance of so much more! If we look beyond the cancer, and we look beyond the chemo, and we look beyond the post-chemo side effects without restrictions; we can find the beauty within the tragedy. It is not about the outcome; but it is all about the journey and letting the outcome just be. While we have others to help us navigate our way through the fight, there is another fight within us that only we can battle! But as I have mentioned before, I have realized that this is not just for the cancer warrior. If you are breathing, you have your own journey that you are in. And within that journey, the same thought can be taken with you!
Life’s journey in finding true balance, in all areas of our lives may not be easy; but it is imperative for our survival and is the foundation of growth and thriving! With that balance brings harmony, and with harmony comes peace. Treasuring the moments vs looking towards the days, weeks, month, years; allows us the opportunity to savor all that life brings to us vs regretting the time lost in hoping, planning, wishing, and missing the now that will forever be lost!
(C) 2024 AeKyung Yoo
Blogging for a better life 
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